Paul Mecurio

Senator Barrack Obama distanced himself from his long time friend Rev. Wright last week, calling his recent speech at the National Press Club, "Appalling and destructive." When you‘re a politician, you are held accountable for the people you associate with, yet nobody has ever held me accountable for the lunatics I call friends and family. And I think it is high time that they did. So here is a list of people that I have known that I hereby denounce and disassociate myself from:

1. Billy Peterson. Who in the fourth grade stole a bite of Susie Geller's bologna sandwich. His actions were uncalled for and not in keeping with my beliefs. I hope in the future people will not look at me and think, "There is a man who thinks stealing bites of bologna is ok." It is wrong and frankly un-American.

2. My Uncle Louie. Who when I was a teenager used a racial slur against the ancient Peruvians. It's not a common term but it was widely used in the 5th century in what is now Brazil. The word was "Azxcetrty" which roughly translated means jungle pansy. My Uncle was a good man and he was not a racist, but he was a man of his time. Or rather a time he would rather be in, which was 5th century Brazil. And he drank a little...

3. My Building Superintendent. I have no idea what his name is. But let's, for the sake of argument, call him Kenny. I have known "Kenny" for over 10 years now. And during those 10 years I have heard Kenny engage in sexual acts in his apartment. I have heard the sounds of women laughing. I have heard the sound of men grunting. And on a few occasions I have heard a chicken clucking. But I did nothing. People may wonder how I could just sit there and not do anything for 10 years. And to those people I say, "He's the Super, for God's sake." Do you think I'm going to change the light bulb in the stairwell? For this I am deeply sorry. And I can assure you, I will no longer put that glass to the wall that connects our apartments...

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Check out my latest interview with Gridskipper. I got a chance to sit down with Brittany Bellgardt for a DEBRIEFER session. Read on for an excerpt and click HERE to check out the full story. - Paul

GRIDSKIPPER: DEBRIEFER
You were one of the original writers on Comedy Central's The Daily Show and then later, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Were you surprised at how well the show took off? That it has become the go-to news show for millions of devoted viewers?

Yes, considering that all of the writers were reading at a third grade level. How did we get the job you ask? Weed ... REALLY good weed. You can get any job with the right drugs. Seriously, I am surprised. In the beginning no one knew who we were. We were the little show that could, so to see it be as popular as it is still blows my mind. And when my mind is blown the only way for me to correct that is ... WEED!

I performed at Auburn Public Theatre in Auburn, New York last week. It was a blast, as per usual. Be sure to check out the interview I just did with The Daily Orange, Syracuse University's student newspaper, online HERE! - Paul

If you know anything about me you know that I just love to spend Sunday afternoons shopping with the family at Ikea. Maybe it's the smell of the Swedish meatballs samples mixed with the scent of recently varnished, functional Scandinavian furniture that gets me going. Maybe it's my wife laughing at my choice of color for new curtains. Or maybe it's standing in line for the bathroom for 20 minutes behind a 300 pound man with the perfect Ramberg bedside table under his arm.

If they really wanted to help reduce CO2 emissions maybe they should stop using wood. Bags don't kill the planet people do. If I don't have a bag how am I supposed to carry home all of those tepid Swedish meatballs? In my hands? I think not!

Ikea is suggesting that people bring their own bags or boxes or buy one of their reusable bags. Which is great but have you ever tried to assemble an Ikea bag? I once spent two days trying to insert tab B into slot C and I still had three extra parts left over... Then I noticed the label inside the big blue bag that said, "Made in China?" Not only am I doing my part to save the planet, I'm also helping to employ political prisoners in China! And I have the added bonus of letting my kid lick the lead paint off the bag and watch with delight as he stumbles around the room.

So thank you Ikea for helping us to see the light (the metaphorical light, not an actual burning light because THAT light would just add to the carbon footprint).

Stay green my friends, stay green. - Paul

I just did an interview with Greg over at PerfectPorridge.com - a Minnepolis-based A&E blog. Greg had a lot of fun questions. Read on for a teaser and check out the full story below! - Paul

Perfect Porridge: Interview with comic Paul Mecurio
You're going to be at Minneapolis' Acme Comedy Company Thursday, April 17 - Saturday, April 19. Have you spent much time in the Twin Cities? Thoughts?
No, never been. Really looking forward to it. The club has a great rep among comics. I hear there's a cool bowling alley I should go to. Are you inviting me over for dinner?

Will my date put out after a Paul Mecurio set?
If she is a guy ... yes! Actually, studies have shown my act is a deterrent to sex. Women see me and are sick with the thought that another woman has to live with me. Sorry, you won't be getting laid that night.

You know our city's signature landmarks are a giant spoon with a cherry on it and a stone bridge. What does that say about us?
You guys have great shrooms!

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