Paul Mecurio

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The E-Coli bacteria quietly lives in the intestines of humans and animals and with great regularity seems to flair up. It can be found in a whole host of foods and cause severe illness in thousands of people if those foods are not properly washed and handled.

I don't know how to break this to you E-coli but, you're not well-liked. You're the Bush Administration of the bacteria world. The two of you have a lot in common -- you're both sneaky and deadly. The only difference is you definitely have an exit strategy.

6:03 minutes (5.54 MB)

The Irish. Freud said the Irish are impervious to psychotherapy. But he didn't say they're impervious to makeovers. In this piece, I am going to make over not just the Irish people, or Irish culture, but also Ireland itself.

Ireland, you've given us so many wonderful Irish phrases, like "Kiss Me, I'm Irish," "Top o' the mornin' to ya" and "Aagh! It's a car bomb."

You're the land of alcohol and hard-to-read novels. You're like an entire nation built on my sophomore year in college.

3:01 minutes (2.77 MB)

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President Bush has one of the lowest approval ratings in history. There's not much I can do to improve his image, but Bush's grim reality brings to mind that there are many Presidents throughout history with low approval ratings and I thought I'd make over the images of some of those Chief Executives.

Take Thomas Jefferson, now Mr. Jefferson, your image as a brilliant founding father has been tarnished for having sex with women you owned. Today women run FOR President whereas in your day they ran FROM one.

We can spin this positive, you weren't a misogynist ... you were a TRUE pioneer by starring in the very first dramedy, called "Desperate House Slaves."

7:08 minutes (6.54 MB)

Let me start by saying personally, I enjoy global warming. It's hot, controversial, it's in a movie - it's the Jenna Jameson of environmental catastrophes.

Scientists say global warming will hurt the food supply. I don't see how - all our food will be pre-cooked. We'll pick baked apples off the tree; live turkeys will baste in their own juices. Things will be grilled right ON George Foreman.

6:53 minutes (3.95 MB)

7:16 minutes (3.33 MB)Check out my lastest Image Makeover piece from The Bob & Tom Radio Show. This time around, I took on Britney Spears! Well, mostly she was just the starting point. I moved on to bigger and better losers like Art Garfunkel, Sen. Larry Craig (still not gay), Marie Osmond, ex-Beatles-wife Heather Mills, and even the Dalai Lama. If you want to learn how you can tarnish your image AND cash in, have a listen. Did you know that you can take my comedy on the go? Just download the shows you want from the audio page and upload them to your MP3 player of choice. - Paul

8:30 minutes (3.89 MB)I'm going to be on The Bob & Tom Radio Show doing another Image Makeover piece on Wednesday, December 12. To find out where The Bob & Tom show is playing near you, click here. Be sure to tune in!

Check out my latest Makeover from Thanksgiving below! Download the shows you want from the audio page and upload them to your MP3 player of choice. Happy Holiday! - Paul

9:48 minutes (3.93 MB)

Here's my latest Image Makeover from The Bob & Tom Radio Show about the holiday season. Did you know that you can also download all my Image Makeover segments on the audio page of my site? That's my gift to you all this holiday season. Happy Holidays! - Paul

6:03 minutes (2.77 MB)

Have a listen to my take on the whole Roger Clemens steroid controversy from Friday, Jan. 11's Bob & Tom Radio Show.

13:39 minutes (6.25 MB)

I was on The Bob & Tom Radio Show on Tuesday talking about Consumer Man, my story from The New York Times Magazine. The gang had a laugh at the whole bag conspiracy and about my run in with the newspaper stand attendant. After the article came out, I went back to the same guy and bought the NY Times from him and showed him the article. First he wanted to know if his name was mentioned, then I think he thought it was pretty funny (or at least pretended)!

I've been getting great feedback from fans about the story and I've posted all your emails and comments on the Lip Service page. Thanks for writing! Be sure to listen for an update on the saga. - Paul

6:23 minutes (2.93 MB)
In the spirit of the Superbowl, check out my latest Image Makeover about football from the Bob & Tom Superbowl weekend. - Paul

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While in the Bahamas for the Bob & Tom Superbowl weekend, I decided to reminisce about travel and vacations. Check out my latest Image Makeover below! - Paul

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I was on The Bob & Tom Radio Show on Thursday hanging out with the gang. It was a lot of fun. Have a listen! And be sure to check out my new video! I did a show at the now-infamous Mayflower Hotel in Washington, DC the other day and I decided to go on a tour of former Governor Eliot Spitzer's stomping ground. This is the place where he met up with his prize hooker. Check it out HERE! - Paul

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Check out my latest Image Makeover from The Bob & Tom Radio Show about Presidential debates! Debates, we have got to spice up your image. Instead of an opening statement, how about a nice opening number? Let's make this year's moderators more like Simon, Paula and Randy... Have a listen! - Paul

8:30 minutes (1.95 MB)

Here's an old Image Makeover from The Bob & Tom Radio Show that I did last year about the Thanksgiving holiday, just in time for Turkey Day! In my opinion, Thanksgiving needs a total makeover and everything I said last year about the pilgrims, parades, and tryptophan still stands! So check it out! That's my gift to you all this holiday season.

Happy Holidays! - Paul

5:48 minutes (2.33 MB)

To celebrate the inauguration, I appeared on The Bob & Tom Radio Show this morning and did another Image Makeover, this time about President Barack Obama's inauguration!

The Oath of Office needs an update. At 39 words it's way too long. We want to put Obama on the job as soon as possible. Here's a quicker version:

"Are you George Bush?"

"No."

"Welcome aboard!"

Listen online or download a FREE MP3 of the of the Image Makeover for your mp3 player here. - Paul

8:40 minutes (4.97 MB)

I was in The Bahamas for The Bob & Tom Radio Show's annual LIVE broadcast during Super Bowl Weekend. It was a blast. While there, I recorded another Image Makeover, this time about the failing economy. It ain't a good picture right now. Henry joined in to sing a few songs about the recession including Folk Songs for the 21st Century, or as I like to call them - Po'Folks Songs. Have a listen on the site or download an MP3!

9:47 minutes (5.6 MB)

Listen to my full Image Makeover about Baseball from  The Bob & Tom Radio Show. Opening day for the new season is just around the corner. Let's face it, baseball has been having some trouble these days, so check it out my makeover! Have a listen on the site or download an MP3!

Don't forget - be sure to watch my "Who's on Roids" video above or on YouTube! - Paul